


It's Almost Like A Sitcom, But With Marginally More Bloodshed

by cureelliott



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Best Friends, Established Relationship, Gen, M/M, Pre-Canon
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2013-08-07
Updated: 2013-08-07
Packaged: 2017-12-22 16:14:47
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 616
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/915313
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cureelliott/pseuds/cureelliott
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Hanji has been evicted ten times and counting. Levi takes matters into his own hands to prevent his best friend from becoming a homeless mad scientist. Erwin will have to learn to live with a germophob and an eccentric titan-baka.</p>
            </blockquote>





	It's Almost Like A Sitcom, But With Marginally More Bloodshed

**Author's Note:**

> This story takes place before/during canon. 
> 
> Gender neutral pronouns are used to refer Hanji. You can learn more about gendered pronouns [here](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Gender-specific_and_gender-neutral_pronouns#Invented_pronouns). 
> 
> I'll add more chapters as inspiration comes along!

To both Hanji and Erwin’s surprise, it was Levi who suggested it. 

If ‘suggested’ was really the word for it.

Hanji had been evicted for the tenth time and was sleeping in the lab between missions. Ze was sleeping on a pile of field notes, sat zes desk when Levi barged into the room. As he slammed the door open, the beakers scattered around the room rattled and Hanji started awake. 

“Oi, shitty glasses. Pack your shitty gear.” 

“Whaaa?” Hanji blinked at Levi, squinting without zes glasses on. “Are we going on a mission already?”’ 

“No.” Levi said curtly, tying a white bandana around his face to cover his mouth and rolling up his sleeves. “You’re moving.” 

“Ehhh?” Hanji groped around on the tabletop, searching for zes goggles “Where am I going?” 

“I’ve cleaned out the basement. You’re staying there where I can keep an eye on you and you won’t be such a damned public hazard. What is this? Was this food?” Even behind the bandana, Hanji could see him snarling “You’re disgusting.” 

“Sorry, sorry, Levi-chan.” Hanji inwardly winced as Levi glared daggers into the back of zes head. 

Together, they packed up Hanji’s personal belongings from the lab and within the hour, they were standing outside of Levi and Erwin’s house just outside of the city. It was relatively large, as expected for a commander, but still somewhat modest. Two floors and a large veranda with porch swing large enough to two average size people (so probably big enough for to fit Levi between Erwin and Hanji). 

The lawn was immaculate, with hedges evenly trimmed and grass groomed to be a perfect, green carpet. Hanji could easily imagine Levi crawling across the ground with a comb and a pair of tweezers, untangling blades and pulling out dead ones. 

Erwin met them on the veranda. 

“Squad Leader Zoe, what a surprise.” Erwin smiled at Hanji and then looked at Levi “I didn’t know we were having guests today.” 

“We aren’t.” Levi said flatly “Shitty glasses is living in the basement.” 

Erwin’s eyebrows twitched ever so slight higher on his face. Hanji didn’t know the commander particularly well outside of the professional setting, and what little ze did know was information gather purely based on his proximity to Levi. The two had been married for the last five years, but they both maintained an extremely low profile when it came to their personal lives. 

Levi and Erwin continued to stare one another down and Hanji watched, glancing between both their faces and trying to decipher whatever wordless, emotionless language they were speaking. Apparently all they needed was to maintain eye contact. 

Finally, Erwin spoke. His face broke out into a broad smile and he turned to Hanji. 

“Fantastic. Please, Squad Leader, let me take your bag for you. I’m afraid you’ll have to sleep on the couch tonight, but tomorrow we’ll go into town and purchase you a proper bed. I hope that’s acceptable.” 

“That’s completely acceptable, Commander! Thank you!” Hanji thrust zes jam packed briefcase into his hands and let zirself into the house behind him. 

Erwin stared down at Levi as he followed Hanji into the house. Silently, he tried to communicate, _I’m sure I could learn to live with Hanji but can you?_

Levi’s eyes flickered away to where Hanji had thrown zerself down on his pristine couch, getting zes filthy personhood all over the clean and pressed fabric.

“Oi! Shitty glasses! Get your damned body into the shower. And take those clothes off, I’m burning them! They’re disgusting!” 

Erwin rolled his eyes skyward. Leading the scouting legion was going to look like a cake walk after sharing a house with these two.


End file.
